I’m really happy that you are back here in the States from your tour in Iraq. We’ve missed you a great deal here, as have your cats. However, it seems that you want your cats back. That’s going to be a problem.

You see, Leila and Todd are incredible mousers, and they are the best lap cats ever. I understand that they are your cats, but I’ve come to regard them as my own. In the interest of fairness, you can have one of your cats back.

In trade for the cat you don’t choose, you get Luna:

Yeah, she looks crazy in that picture. But don’t worry, she’s not like that all the time. Trust me, it’s a fair trade.